I have been a long time subscriber to the magazine called Self. I discovered it in my early teens; shortly after Seventeen magazine just wasn't doing it for me anymore. I have always enjoyed reading and no matter how broke I am, I've made sure to keep my subscription. I feel like there are still the cliche advertisements and messages; the ones that made me want to give up my dream of being a big time Advertising Exec because I didn't want to feel responsible for thousands of young woman's tarnished self-esteem. Rather, I think the majority of what's in this magazine are good messages. Embrace who you are. Live a healthier life. Chase your dreams and be happy.
Now that I've gone off on a tangent that is more suited for a separate blog post all together, let's get back to the point. I took a much needed 5-minute break at the end of my work day today to read. I decided to catch up on the flagged articles I had in this month's Self magazine (it's my goal to read the articles I've flagged within a week of receiving the mag; then to toss it). There was an article that caught my eye called "Live your dream life". That's all I needed to see to peak my interest. The description of the article says "Sometimes, to be truly happy, you have to follow your heart, no matter what everyone else may think."
I'm not going to post the entire article over again (there's a link to it below). It's a short read and I encourage you to check it out; especially if you are struggling in your creative and/or professional life.
Basically- this woman always knew she wanted to be a writer. Despite her parents driving her to get a "real" job, she pushed and made writing a priority in her life. Although, the need to pay her bills caught her feeling frustrated and taking a job that she later found sucked the soul out of her. In the end, she realized that writing was her passion and that a simple job at the local grocery store was perfect for her. She could work the minimum of 25 hours to receive health benefits and other perks. At the end of the day she could walk away and forget about it...and you guessed it: focus on her writing.
I wondered if this story was meant for my eyes. In fact, I wished I would have read it about a month ago. Since we moved to Key West in September I have been contracting for my previous employer out of the comforts of my now shoe-box home. I love it, but I do miss people. Regardless, it's a temporary opportunity and the end is drawing near. I've been looking for other work and feeling incredibly frustrated. I have several tracks I'd like to focus on, but the dilemma is: they need lots of time and attention to grow into something profitable. Time and attention I don't have. I need to pay my bills. I also need to finish my Associate's degree. These are non-negotiables. But if I take a good 9-5 job, I can't nurture these desires as I wish I could (with 100% of my attention). I've always been looking to climb that ladder. I love a challenge, but love to keep growing in more and more difficult tasks. Ideally, I want a strong IT job that I can continue to grow, learn, and be challenged in. Sadly, I don't think there are any IT jobs out there for me. At least not now.
This article has really put into perspective what I need to do. I need to be writing in a creative outlet. I need to journal. I need to write lyrics and poetry. I need to sing. I need to focus on music. This is at the heart of my soul and it's been neglected for far too long. So I may not feel challenged at work. So I may punch the clock at a job that is far too easy for me. But if it pays my bills and leaves my head clear to feed and discover what is in my heart, so be it. It's been far too long.